This is it... it's his last night in the Philippines. I don't know when am I going to see him again. I haven't even had the chance to see him this last night as we already had our sweet goodbye last Monday.
J.W.M. ... you're the only guy who made me cry like this. I don't even know if you're worth all the tears. I could have showed you more of what I can do... But looks like faith kept us apart as sign for me that I have to end everything.
Now, what happened on this Friday? Desperately wanting to see him that night, I don't mind if his 2 guy friends will see me meeting him. But then we had an exchange of bitter words that made me cry to my death. Exaggerating may it sound, but I was like a lost crazy lady who doesn't know where to go. I really wanted to see him for the last time.
Thank God for giving me a chance to talk to him before his flight which is tomorrow 1PM. We had more than an hour of talking somewhere in the Fort. He was a bit drunk. This time he's really talking. The things he were saying were some of the answers to the questions I've been asking myself before. But then still.... he left words like "maybe someday"... that again kept me hanging. Maybe after a month or more, he'll soon forget and ignore me. Now I have to prepare myself for that.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Monday, June 13, 2011
Sweet Goodbye...
Am I selfish?! I dated a new guy yet I still am thinking of the other same guy that I really like. Yes, the new guy is fun to talk and be with, still I am looking for the spark. Maybe I just have to ignite it to see, or maybe I am not yet ready to date a new guy.
Today is June 13. One month have already passed since the very unlucky Friday the 13th last May 13 (Where our supposedly movie date was ruined by his work). Now is a lucky day, I can tell. I went to the office last night to pick up my gift for him. He just got back from Singapore with his family. Now I have to see him last night to give it to him. I waited half an hour at a gas station for him. It doesn't feel like half an hour because he keeps updating me and apologizing as I know it wasn't his fault if he didn't got out of the plane at the time expected.
When I saw him, the day is complete. I just want to hug and kiss him. But then I can't do that because he might freak out. I gave him the shirt. He tried it and tadan!!! He looked good wearing the shirt. There then he thanked me again for the gift. He showed me an old printed pic of ours. It was our 2007 Bitmicro Christmas party. I told him I'm going to keep it. We stayed at his place for the whole night. We had pretty good night. But I had a hard time sleeping because I know I need to tell him a lot of things. But I don't wanna ruin the night so I stayed quiet. It felt good waking up in the morning and he's the first thing that you'll see. I know it will be the last time that I'm going to see him for now. But then he told me that I just have to think that where he's going is just a one plane away. Before leaving this morning, he saw that my dress sleeve is not fixed. That's so sweet of him to fix it for me instead of just pointing it. This is one of the reason why I like him. He's unpredictable.
My panda is going to leave the country in 4 days. I really am going to miss him. But I think I feel better now. At least it was a sweet goodbye.
Today is June 13. One month have already passed since the very unlucky Friday the 13th last May 13 (Where our supposedly movie date was ruined by his work). Now is a lucky day, I can tell. I went to the office last night to pick up my gift for him. He just got back from Singapore with his family. Now I have to see him last night to give it to him. I waited half an hour at a gas station for him. It doesn't feel like half an hour because he keeps updating me and apologizing as I know it wasn't his fault if he didn't got out of the plane at the time expected.
When I saw him, the day is complete. I just want to hug and kiss him. But then I can't do that because he might freak out. I gave him the shirt. He tried it and tadan!!! He looked good wearing the shirt. There then he thanked me again for the gift. He showed me an old printed pic of ours. It was our 2007 Bitmicro Christmas party. I told him I'm going to keep it. We stayed at his place for the whole night. We had pretty good night. But I had a hard time sleeping because I know I need to tell him a lot of things. But I don't wanna ruin the night so I stayed quiet. It felt good waking up in the morning and he's the first thing that you'll see. I know it will be the last time that I'm going to see him for now. But then he told me that I just have to think that where he's going is just a one plane away. Before leaving this morning, he saw that my dress sleeve is not fixed. That's so sweet of him to fix it for me instead of just pointing it. This is one of the reason why I like him. He's unpredictable.
My panda is going to leave the country in 4 days. I really am going to miss him. But I think I feel better now. At least it was a sweet goodbye.
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